In evil long I took delight,
Unaw’d by shame or fear,
Till a new object struck my sight,
And stopp’d my wild career.
I saw One hanging on a tree,
In agonies and blood,
Who fix’d His languid eyes on me,
As near His cross I stood.
Sure, never till my latest breath
Can I forget that look;
It seem’d to charge me with His death,
Though not a word He spoke.
My conscience felt, and own’d the guilt,
And plung’d me in despair;
I saw my sins His blood had spilt,
And help’d to nail Him there.
Alas! I knew not what I did;
But now my tears are vain;
Where shall my trembling soul be hid?
For I the Lord have slain.
A second look He gave, which said,
“I freely all forgive;
This blood is for thy ransom paid,
I die that thou mayst live.”
Thus, while His death my sin displays
In all its blackest hue,
(Such is the mystery of grace,)
It seals my pardon too.
With pleasing grief and mournful joy
My spirit now is fill’d.
That I should such a life destroy,
Yet live by Him I kill’d.
In Evil Long I Took Delight
John Newton, 1725-1807
Today I hung out with a group of young adults with autism disorder. There was this one in particular, Tory, that I talked to for about 2 hours. He is a 20 year old boy with Asperger Syndrome. He loves radio and music and he is blind. He inspired me today more than I could have imagined. His joy in music was contagious and his enthusiasm in being able to talk to a girl for a while was flattering and precious. We ate and sang and listen to the radio and when it was time for him to leave, he begged to stay a little longer. “Mom, I never get to talk to pretty girls. I don’t want to leave” But that’s just the good. He also broke my heart when he began talking to me about the difficulties of having Aspergers. About how hard life can be, about how mean and hard people can be. People make fun of him all the time, people get annoyed with his love for radio and his health is not very good. But still, he’s pushing on. He is happy and he is optimistic. How can I ever complain when someone with so much sorrow and difficulties can be so optimistic? Not to mention the other young adults I spoke with. Another girl I talked to told me about being verbally abused by her ex boyfriend, one boy said that their family was filled with difficulties and despair, and sorrow. So who am I to complain when I have everything I could ever need? I am so thankful for everything the Lord has done for me and for the people He has placed into my life that make it so much more enjoyable. I just can’t explain how much this morning has broken and expanded my heart for the autistic community.
Hey! It’s me… I’m alive. I’m here in class in Daye. Just got Internet for the first time since being here. It’s been pretty fun but classes are HARD! Very. But I’m getting it….. I think. Anyways. G2G
I’m so ready to leave this country and go give my life to providing orphans with everything they need to grow. To give them someone to love them. And most of all I cant wait to introduce them to a Father that will never leave them or hurt them.
Haha. Yes. This is so me.
It’s weird but the more I do math the more I love it.
I dont get to do it often, but now…having to do calculations to build stuff makes me excited!
I have decided i ♥ Math
Also, Math is constant. It’s not confusing…it’s always right and always the same. I know if I got my math right then everything else should fall into place. It’s not so with the rest of my life.