In evil long I took delight,
Unaw’d by shame or fear,
Till a new object struck my sight,
And stopp’d my wild career.
I saw One hanging on a tree,
In agonies and blood,
Who fix’d His languid eyes on me,
As near His cross I stood.
Sure, never till my latest breath
Can I forget that look;
It seem’d to charge me with His death,
Though not a word He spoke.
My conscience felt, and own’d the guilt,
And plung’d me in despair;
I saw my sins His blood had spilt,
And help’d to nail Him there.
Alas! I knew not what I did;
But now my tears are vain;
Where shall my trembling soul be hid?
For I the Lord have slain.
A second look He gave, which said,
“I freely all forgive;
This blood is for thy ransom paid,
I die that thou mayst live.”
Thus, while His death my sin displays
In all its blackest hue,
(Such is the mystery of grace,)
It seals my pardon too.
With pleasing grief and mournful joy
My spirit now is fill’d.
That I should such a life destroy,
Yet live by Him I kill’d.
In Evil Long I Took Delight
John Newton, 1725-1807
I feel like crying. I need to get away from people. Why are weddings so difficult to plan? Everyone should just know what I want and then automatically do it…for free. That’d be nice.
Anyways. I want a tent right now, to hide.
As I was laying in bed reading my bible, I realized something that I’ve always known but that had renewed meaning to me as of tonight.
First of all, before I can talk about my realization, I have a confession: I dont usually think I’m smart. I dont know a lot of things most people do, simple things sometimes, and I forget a lot of things. It makes me feel really stupid a lot of the time. And although I am not stupid, that is sometimes hard to remember because of the things I forget. I used to be the smart one, the one that had all the answers in class, that was top of the class, that could remember things. However, that is not the case anymore. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I think that it was probably a combination of things that I wont go into right now, but either way, I am not that person anymore. I dont have that ability. So for a while I’ve let it get me down.
So as I was reading 1 Corinthians tonight I was reminded of something beautiful and wonderful.
1 Corinthians 1:26-31 says:
Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things- and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God-that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption, Therefore as it is written: Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.
Wow. DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?
No..I could leave it at that and it would be wonderful, but God is not just wonderful, he is Perfect. He’s not done yet.
1 Corinthians 1:25, 2:12-16
For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.
We have received the Spirit who is from God. We Speak not in words taught by men or human wisdom, but in words taught by the Spirit. BUT WE HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST
(This is just bits and pieces of those verse or is paraphrased. Look it up for full reference)
THEREFORE my Brothers, since we have the mind of Christ through the imparting of His Spirit in us, our worldly “wisdom” is overcome by the perfect wisdom of God. For (3:23) “you are of Christ, and Christ is of God.”
HOW PERFECT IS OUT SAVIOR? That he can turn an unworthy, forgetful and stupid woman into someone who can overcome the wisest of men, rulers of the world, celebrities, politicians, professors, scientists, and more. They may know a lot, but no wisdom can ever compare.That is His power in me, not mine own, and in in HIM will I boast.
Hey guys, so I’ve decided to start my tumblr over for the most part.
I went back and deleted almost all of my old post, I left a few things that I dont want to forget or when I just posted scripture or something like that, but I took down almost everything. SO… I’m starting over. Since I’ve changed so much over this past year I thought it was time to restart my blog. So here it goes, Tumber…I’M BACK!
Today I hung out with a group of young adults with autism disorder. There was this one in particular, Tory, that I talked to for about 2 hours. He is a 20 year old boy with Asperger Syndrome. He loves radio and music and he is blind. He inspired me today more than I could have imagined. His joy in music was contagious and his enthusiasm in being able to talk to a girl for a while was flattering and precious. We ate and sang and listen to the radio and when it was time for him to leave, he begged to stay a little longer. “Mom, I never get to talk to pretty girls. I don’t want to leave” But that’s just the good. He also broke my heart when he began talking to me about the difficulties of having Aspergers. About how hard life can be, about how mean and hard people can be. People make fun of him all the time, people get annoyed with his love for radio and his health is not very good. But still, he’s pushing on. He is happy and he is optimistic. How can I ever complain when someone with so much sorrow and difficulties can be so optimistic? Not to mention the other young adults I spoke with. Another girl I talked to told me about being verbally abused by her ex boyfriend, one boy said that their family was filled with difficulties and despair, and sorrow. So who am I to complain when I have everything I could ever need? I am so thankful for everything the Lord has done for me and for the people He has placed into my life that make it so much more enjoyable. I just can’t explain how much this morning has broken and expanded my heart for the autistic community.
Hey! It’s me… I’m alive. I’m here in class in Daye. Just got Internet for the first time since being here. It’s been pretty fun but classes are HARD! Very. But I’m getting it….. I think. Anyways. G2G
I’m so ready to leave this country and go give my life to providing orphans with everything they need to grow. To give them someone to love them. And most of all I cant wait to introduce them to a Father that will never leave them or hurt them.
Haha. Yes. This is so me.